For four miles, I concentrated and prayed. I prayed for peace. I prayed for guidance. I prayed for strength. I prayed for my AB. My mama always says that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. And it occurred to me as I came to the hill that never ends that I earlier this summer, I couldn't run that hill at all.
But what are the hills for? Who cares if I'm stronger than yesterday? Sure it makes a pretty picture to stare at in the mirror and can earn lots of shiny medals; but really, a strong body comes from a strong faith that you are doing what is best for your body, a trust that you can push yourself further than you ever thought possible and still live to tell about the journey, the strength to keep pushing when everything seems to be crumbling around you. And sometimes all of this faith and trust and strength isn't for our own benefit; sometimes its for the benefit of the people whose lives God has brought us into. Sometimes all of our work provides the calm in the middle of someone else's storm.
God never intended our lives to be easy, I think that's the misconception. God gave us hills, sometimes so steep and big and arduous, that we think we will never reach the top. But we do. God gives us plateaus and valleys too, so that we can appreciate the lessons and catch our breath. There are times during a run that I concentrate on putting one foot down in front of the other, but really, my body just works. In fact, it is when I let go of the push and let my body do it's job that I run best, even up those hills. Isn't that what the Bible tells us to do, let go of the idea that we have any real control and give it to God? What a beautiful and extraordinarily difficult lesson to remember, let alone apply. Especially because what I really want is to DO something for my AB, I want to BE there, I want FIX it. And. I can't for so many reasons that are beyond my control. Well. I can pray.