Thursday, July 7, 2011

And so here I am...

There are several ways to build a character, it seems I am one best built in media res and so I will tell you that it is generally my constant effort to free myself from my calculating J. Alfred Prufrock mind and drink the "free spirit" that dances in my soul.  Ok, so I'm a bit over the top.  I guess that's a start.

At any rate.  I'm a runner.  Sort of.  I wasn't, then I learned.  I fell in love, then I got hurt.  Now, I'm waiting on surgery that will *hopefully* (those are my fingers crossing) allow me to run again.  I wish I could tell you that it was some fantastic accident that bore some type of unsung triumph.
Apparently, I was born with a deformed femoral head.  Yup, a square peg in a round socket that just finally took my hip cartilage past its breaking point.  That's all there is, folks.  And while I know hip joints are pretty necessary for running (and so I've learned, just about everything else as well) it seems like such a minor thing compared to what other human beings overcome.

So here I am.  It's 11:51 on a Wednesday night.  For the second night in a row, I'm having anxiety about having this surgery and what my life will look like if running is still not a viable option for me.  Maybe I would feel differently today if I had known on that April morning that it was going to be my last painless run (albeit, pumped full of ibuprofen) through my neighborhood.  Maybe if had been ready then, this wouldn't be so hard now.  But.  I wasn't.

And so this is my story, as it unfolds, of how I overcome my square peg and learn, despite the limitations and inconveniences along the way, to stop measuring my life in coffee spoons.

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